‘Fiona’ by Caitlin Mae

'Fiona' is the first song of four that will make up her sophomore EP. The song is the first one written acoustically when Caitlin learnt to play guitar whilst in lockdown. Caitlin says that "although sadness can be found at the heart of the song, I believe that when we find ourselves in darkness, there is always a light switch, even when it appears impossible to find."

Caitlin Mae has risen to great acclaim and in 2022 was recognised at the International Singer Songwriter Association Awards held in Atlanta, winning Gold for Female Vocalist of the Year and International Music Video of the Year for 'Take my Demons'.

Caitlin tells me how personal and raw the song is to her, and how it tells the story of loneliness and thinking you're the only one experiencing it. She goes on to tell me how the song is therapeutic, helping her see things through a clearer lens.

Starting with a staccato guitar intro, following by the sweet voice of Caitlin Mae, it's so light and easy to understand comparisons with Taylor Swift.

"Riding in on a white horse thinking

I should have stayed at home

Holding onto the silent nights I

Spent all on my own"

This is very much reminiscent of a fairytale and romance. Clearly depicting a struggle in oneself wanting to stay home and keep the dream going by "holding onto the silent nights". Perhaps not overly comfortable with social settings.

"My mirror shows those stormy eyes I've come to know so well.

Fake a smile for all to see outside the gates of hell."

We all have mirrors, and we can see people in different perspectives much like the crazy mirrors at the fayre. In this world of social media we're all painting a fake smile, because life isn't always as perfect as portrayed online. What's important to note is that if you feel like this with a sense of being lost and loneliness then its completely normal, however further support (such as therapy or counselling) may be beneficial. Life is journey of one challenge after another, and being a musician can present this same feeling of loneliness, especially if you're not prepared to be as open and vulnerable in your music as Caitlin has been in this song.

"My princess tower’s taller than Fiona’s

She’s the lucky one in my book

My fire breathing dragon who’s deceiving

He could kill with just one look"

This reminds me more so of a fairytale, yet also shows how judgemental we are comparing our lives, always thinking someone else is better than us. The fire breathing dragon a personification of envy, and how just one look at someone's life can kill yours (becoming consumed in their lives and not your own). It can equally be synonymous with the sense of having the fear of loneliness breathing down your neck.

"The sky outside my window paints a picture I can't reach.

A taste of something beautiful and just too good for me."

Shows the amount of self confidence (or lack of) to go and pursue their dream. Nothing is ever "too good" for you. If we want something badly, then we work and we fight for it, putting in many hard hours to achieve what was once unreachable outside the window.

"I’m haunted by this empty room and shadows on the wall

I try to leave but no one’s there to catch me if I fall"

Being haunted by an empty room could be suggesting inner loneliness (as mentioned by Caitlin) as well as a lack of imagination, and the shadows on the wall are the potential ideas, thoughts and dreams trying to play out. The final part of this verse is rather interesting and references security, and our ambition to thrive yet fear of not having the support, or the strength to go about it.

Before repeating the chorus to finish the song, Caitlin sings:

"Get out now, Don't make a sound, Feet on the ground, Run"

From understanding the song and based on the idea of loneliness, then it's my suggestion she's talking to either her fear of loneliness, or dark thoughts resulting from being alone. The reference to not making a sound could mean not wanting prolonged trauma resulting from the loneliness. The question must be posed as to where she intends running to? Could this be to seek friendships, be with family and loved ones to eradicate the loneliness? I hope so!

Overall 'Fiona' is a very beautifully written, emotionally driven song, which I suspect will resonate with more people than who want to let on. Let this song give you the strength to realise you're never truly alone in any experience. Reach out, share your stories, your thoughts and feelings, people are more understanding than you think.

Caitlin Mae releases 'Fiona' 13th January 2023 and can be per-saved at https://distrokid.com/hyperfollow/caitlinmae/fiona

Go ahead and follow Caitlin on all her social media channels https://linktr.ee/caitlinmaemusic